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Winter Retreat Reflections by Lisa Fain | Fear & Love: The Teacher & the Student

A few weeks ago, I spent the weekend with 44 other wonderful women at the Wonder of Women Winter Retreat. I came prepared to teach about Fear, Love and Healthy Confrontation. I did that, but I left with so much more: light, sisterhood, connection, community. Here I offer share my thoughts and reflections in the context of Fear & Love: Healthy Confrontation the subject of my talk.

Reflections on Fear

While I was preparing my talk on Fear vs Love for the Wow Winter Retreat I had a nagging whisper in my head saying:

“Don’t go”

“There’s too much snow”

“Its too hard to be away this weekend”

“Find a way out”

I had to recognize and acknowledge these whispers were coming from the shadows of my own fears:

of not belonging

of not being accepted

of feeling unconnected

of being an outsider

I looked at the notes on the talk I was preparing, which said... Show up for your fear. So I did. I honored my “YES” and….

Leaned in to the fear

Shined light on the worry that I wouldn’t belong

Drove through the snow and arrived ready to learn, to be, to teach.

Reflections on Love

From the moment I walked into the lodge I was bathed in love, light and liberation. The sisterhood I experienced from 44 women immediately reminded me why I said YES!

Lessons from the first night..

“Be Light and Be Light”

“You are where you are supposed to be”

“This is sisterhood”

And the words I wrote in my journal with a steady hand - “this retreat IS for me”

Second Day Lessons...

Love is not born from expectation. Love is born from a recognition of our worthiness. We are all worthy and must understand how. Cast light on and own your grief to move forward... Then, I found my own voice teaching others the lesson I am learning too:

There are only two emotions: Fear and Love. You must choose.

Show up for the fear, recognizing it as False Evidence Appearing Real

Everyone has three needs: to be connected, valued and heard – know what that means for you.

Lean into the difficult conversations you must have with intention and always come from love.

The final morning...

Morning of prayer and gratitude and in sisterhood community that filled us all offering thoughts on how we can use sacred self care to be restored and rejuvenated.

Driving back through the snow. I was warm, full of light and love. So glad I said YES!

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