In recent days, I've intentionally allowed myself space to mourn, weep and cry out. There are waves of grief, mourning and sorrow we should recognize.. Sometimes we must mourn alone and other times when we must grieve in community. Yet, we mustn't ever neglect ourselves space for grief and sadness or chalk it up as bad, negative or wrong. Neither should we ever SHAME AND BLAME people who need TIME and space for understanding a chance to swallow and catch their breath. Who do we think we are to deny someone this right? What makes any of us more special? What makes the intentional choice to grieve less conscious? We need to know this space can be sacred. We need to know it is absolutely healthy and positively NECESSARY.
When our spirits are grieved and we refuse to feel; quick to HIDE; desperate to suppress and repress and IGNORE our pain and sorrow humanity suffers. If I hurt, you should hurt too. If I cry, you should wipe my tears. Don't brow beat me with a lecture forcing me to pray and ignore the my condition. Don't yell at me for finding voice around my pain and an outlet for my anger. By all means DO NOT QUESTION MY INTELLIGENCE AND SPIRITUALITY!
Far too long we've kept moving establishing an unhealthy robotic auto pilot response to our pain and trauma with antidotes like "God is in control"! Too long we've practiced a pattern of empty platitudes that leave no room for us to acknowledge and tell the truth about how we really feel. This practice inevitably lands us with layers and layers of trauma, brokenness and pain never heard, never felt, never healed. It shows up as depression, anxiety and PTSD. When it arrives and stops us in our tracks demanding our attention we experience a break down nobody saw coming. Natural energetic forces disrupt our pattern and erupt like a volcano spilling out from our soul.
Oh what needless pain we bare and then how we miss our hair and everything else we lose for not stopping and taking time to BREATHE; find our voice and stand in our truth.
We must reject this practice and embrace our freedom to be true. Embrace our right to express and find our words articulating what we see. Our our freedom to say this is wrong. Our freedom to boldly say "This hurts!" Freedom to call a spade a spade. Freedom and space to acknowledge our feelings and speak truth to power!
May we together denounce a practice that enslaves us to SILENCE, SHAME and BLAME. May we voice our concerns; express our dismay, resist being normalized and antagonized by fear and be real about what we feel. Because If we do not feel we cannot heal.
Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Stop acting like there is no such thing as night.
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Veronica Very is Founder & Visionary, Wonder of Women International. Photo Credit: Greg Brundige